XWP - Awakenings 7 - Reunited part 1

 Awakenings 7: Reunited 

part 1 
Ms. Hunter Ash
ripperbard7@yahoo.com
frost29@post.com 

Rating: NC17
Pairings: Xena/Gabrielle

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Reunited- Awakening, part 7

Ms Hunter Ash

Disclaimer: I don’t own Xena, Gabrielle, Hercules, etc. etc. etc. This story is for entertainment purposes and it helps keep me sane (sort of). Don’t bother suing me, I don’t have anything of value (some would even argue I don’t have my sanity).

Sex/Subtext/Alt Fiction: this story is a continuing story of two women in love and they have sex together and it does get graphic. Personally, I hope it raises the room temp a bit. If love/sex between two people of the same gender is illegal in your state or country, move or change your laws, after leaving here. If this type of story bugs you, move on or free your mind.

Violence: the mention of rape concerning one of the major characters, several deaths.

Storyline: I hope this story could stand on it’s own. It is also part of a series I’ve ended up writing. I started out with one story in mind and who knows where this thing will end up at this point. You might want to read the other stories to get the entire picture.

Others will follow because my muse is already pounding for the next part. Hope you enjoy.

Feedback: yes, definitely! Beg, Beg, Beg.

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Iolaus slowly drew his sword and moved his horse forward slightly. “Look, I already told you, we are free citizens. We’re not German, we’re Greek. Leave us alone,” he growled at the scruffy Roman soldiers blocking their way on the road. “When I move, ride like hell and get out of here,” he whispered to Gabrielle.

“I’m not leaving you!” she hissed back.

“Get Xena and Hercules, the Roman camp can’t be far from here, you can help rescue me. I don’t think you and I can take all of them.” he hissed back.

Gabrielle frowned but moved her horse a couple of steps away from his, ready to turn and bolt.

Iolaus cursed every mother of the bandit soldiers in front of them. He knew that they couldn’t count on Xena or Hercules rescuing them either, they were still at camp further down the river. Iolaus and Gabrielle had been on their way to a nearby village for fresh supplies before the four of them crossed into Germania, determined to get a pregnant Xena out of reach of both Ares and Caesar.

Now this. Life definitely wasn’t boring with his friends, Iolaus thought. Definitely not boring and definitely dangerous.

The Roman leader grinned at the two smaller Greeks. “I don’t care who you are. Me and my men need some gambling money and your wife there will bring a very nice price with the slavers. You might even be worth a couple of gold pieces, little man.”

Iolaus let out a yell of anger and charged forward with his horse and Gabrielle, with a frustrated growl, turned her horse. “Go, Gabrielle!” he yelled.

Iolaus ducked under a sword slash and buried his sword quickly into the ribs of the attacker and threw up his left arm to block another sword, wincing as the sword cut through his leather bracer, skin and muscle. He slashed out and caught another Roman at the throat and the soldier dropped his shield and sword to grab at his throat before falling off the horse. The Greek’s horse pushed forward, looking for a way through the pack of Romans but Iolaus and his horse were both frustrated, the Romans kept in close, crowding the horse and the sword of the smaller man.

He cried out in pain and slashed heavily to the left and looked down to see his side bleeding heavily. His left hand came up to try and hold the wound closed and stay in the saddle but dodging another sword strike caused the Greek to lose his balance and fall from the horse, landing heavily. Iolaus yelped and quickly rolled to his hands and knees and dodged out of the way of several horse hooves aiming for his body.

The Romans dismounted and approached slowly, most of them grinning. Five of them, terrific, he thought. He wondered if he should make a break for the river and risk freezing to death or drowning rather than the swords, then he glanced over and saw Gabrielle’s horse fallen in the middle of the road and the little bard struggling to get her trapped legs out from under the dead animal.

“Gabrielle, no!”

With a shout he charged the soldiers beginning to crowd him. He quickly cut down two of the soldiers caught off guard by his charge but a third caught his left shoulder and Iolaus dropped his sword to grasp his shoulder.

Realizing his mistake too late, the Greek couldn’t bend to retrieve his sword before the others were on him. He kept close to them to keep them from using their swords and he utilized his many fighting skills and took another one down with a broken neck, even if he was fighting almost one armed. A sword strike to his back took the man to his knees and kicks, fists and hammering from sword hilts sent him smashing to the ground, bleeding badly and unconscious.

Iolaus’ eyes sprang open as he broke the surface of the water, sputtering and gasping for air. The cold shock of the water hit him like a hammer and the young man couldn’t catch his breath nor fight the current.

He struggled to keep his head above the water and almost swallowed enough to drown when he was jerked suddenly to a stop. He realized slowly that his belt was caught on a half submerged tree stump. Remembering Gabrielle trapped under the horse at the mercy of the Romans, Iolaus summoned his strength and pulled himself along the tree, freeing his belt and let himself drift onto the small beach. Somehow the Greek pulled himself along until he was under the end of the beach at the tree line. He managed to pull himself up and over the embankment by some tree roots and then collapsed under the tree.

He closed his eyes, holding his side tightly.

Something pounded at his awareness and wouldn’t go away. Iolaus opened his eyes and peered around the tree and blinked several times as his exhausted and blood starved mind tried to take in the scene in front of him.

The Romans had Gabrielle in the small clearing. One was examining Iolaus’ sword while another two were dragging the bodies of their comrades off the road. The other three, including their leader, were holding Gabrielle and looking her over.

Iolaus felt a whimper escape his throat.

The bard was struggling but two of the Romans held her tightly by her arms. The leader grinned and ripped her tunic open from collar to hem, exposing her very lovely breasts and torso. Gabrielle screamed and struggled and the men laughed.

Iolaus, tears streaming down his face, fell back against the tree. After a moment, he leaned against the tree and used it to slide up to his feet. He grabbed the tree for stability as he turned and nearly screamed at the sight of his little friend’s abuse. He bent down to grab a fallen tree limb for a weapon and fell forward onto the ground. Tears of rage and helplessness overcame the young man as he listened to his friend scream and he couldn’t move.

“Gabrielle,” Iolaus whispered.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Iolaus woke up screaming Gabrielle’s name, sitting upright in his bed. Hercules hurriedly jumped out of his own bed and quickly grabbed his friend from behind, wrapping his strong arms around the small Greek and felt his friend’s head fall forward back into sleep.

Movement from the other bed caught his attention, as he gently lowered his friend back down onto the bed and covered his best friend.

“Is he okay?” a small voice asked and Hercules moved quietly across the floor and squatted next to the other bed, moving the screen aside. He wasn’t surprised to see Gabrielle lying curled in Xena’s arms, what surprised him was that Gabrielle was the one awake and Xena still asleep.

“He’ll be okay. He wakes up like that several times a week, nightmares,” he whispered.

“He was screaming my name,” the bard whispered.

Hercules looked at the ground and then back into the bard’s eyes. “Yes, he has the same nightmare for over a year and more now. He keeps remembering the fight with the Romans and what happened to you.”

“What happened to me? He saw?” Gabrielle’s eyes went wide, understanding what Hercules might be getting at.

He nodded, dropping his own eyes as tears filled them. It had nearly killed all of them when Iolaus had told them the entire events of that day. Both Xena and Hercules knew what happened to almost every female prisoner taken by any army or bandits but they still weren’t ready to hear that it had happened to Gabrielle when she was taken a year and a half before. Xena had nearly gone crazy with berserk fury.

Hercules looked up to see tears flowing from his little friend’s closed eyes. He gently wiped them away and she looked at him with beautiful green eyes. He attempted to smile reassuringly.

“You’re home. Now, we can all do some healing.”

She merely nodded and he stood and replaced the screen separating the bed from the rest of the room and returned to Iolaus, seeing his best friend thrashing in the nightmare again. He gently moved his friend over and crawled under the fur blankets with him and held the small Greek close, soothing the nightmare away.

“We’ve got her home, Iolaus. She’s safe now,” he whispered and he felt Iolaus’ body begin to relax.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Xena woke to the sounds of a very hungry toddler; a very hungry and wet toddler, she grinned. She could tell by the crying. A year and four months old and she had a set of lungs, Xena thought as she grabbed the child up in her arms.

The warrior frowned when she noticed the other side of the bed was empty. Xena shook her head. This was the second morning that Gabrielle had beaten her awake and the warrior was having a hard time adjusting to that one. Always before the bard had fought for every second of sleep in the morning, now the trained fighter was up before the dawn, just as Xena had once always done.

The warrior quickly changed her giggling daughter and went to the fire to provide breakfast for her littlest one. Hercules popped his head out from under the covers of Iolaus’ bed and the warrior tactfully avoided raising her eyebrows. Was this getting interesting yet, she wondered.

He quickly moved to the fire, slipping fur boots on. “I’ll never get used to cold floors in the morning,” he complained and sat down next to the fire, watching the child feeding.

“She’s beautiful and so are you,” he grinned.

He truly thought so too, motherhood had softened Xena’s features a little and brought a brightness to her eyes that he had only seen there when the warrior spoke of Gabrielle.

“Thank you, my friend,” she smiled and carried that smile as she looked down at her daughter, hair black as her parents’ and eyes as blue as her mother’s.

“It’s been a rough time since your wedding.” Hercules commented.

“I think that understates things, don’t you?” she grinned.

“Where’s Gabrielle?”

“Out walking somewhere or practicing her sparring.” Xena lost her smile.

“Kinda weird, eh? You in here being the gentle type and she’s out practicing how to kill,” he smiled.

Xena sighed in agreement. “That’s part of it, I think. She’s changed so much, Hercules, and I think she’s terrified I won’t want her.”

“Tell her!” he urged as she shifted.

“I have, repeatedly the last three days. She’s just withdrawing more and more.”

“Brutus said she had to do some rough things to survive, killing is probably the least of it and that’s a lot of guilt to carry.”

“Don’t I know that! She won’t talk about it. I’ve gotten a lot of the story from Nikki but Gabrielle won’t talk about it,” Xena complained.

“Until she does she can’t heal; and neither can both of you.”

“I know, my friend.” Xena frowned. “When do you want to travel back north to the clan?”

“By the end of the week? I’d like to get up there before the snow gets much thicker. Away from the Romans is my choice right now. Iolaus tries not to show it but he cringes every time he sees a Roman soldier.”

“I’m just glad he lived, even with that arm in a sling,” Xena said grimly. Then she sighed. “Can you watch Sasha?”

“Of course, now that she’s had breakfast,” he grinned.

Xena grinned as she handed over her contented daughter. Xena got up and quickly got fully dressed in woolen trousers, fur lined boots, woolen tunic, fur vest, fur lined wrist bracers and a thick cloak with fur at the collar and hood.

“I’ll be back. This might take awhile.”

He nodded, understanding. He also noticed that Nikki was awake and watching them with a frown of concern on her face.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Xena found her mate in a small clearing near the ice chunk filled river, practicing fighting moves that quickly impressed the experienced warrior. Xena stopped for a moment next to a tree and watched Gabrielle as she danced through an exercise routine meant to strengthen, stretch and work the muscles and polish fighting skills.

The small woman was handling a pair of weapons that she called sais. Long stabbing weapons with two prongs on either side for blocking blows and breaking blades. The ends were sharp enough to stab and be thrown and the other ends were rounded for blunt fighting.

In the bard’s hands they were deadly, used either way, Xena quickly realized. The last time Xena had seen her mate the Amazon Queen had been recovering from a massive poisoning that had devastated her body and almost crippled her. Now there was no sign of that injured body. In its place was a sleek fighter with the grace of a tiger, the speed of a cheetah and the tenacity of a war dog.

Xena watched as the bard finished a routine and ran a hand through her short blonde hair. That had been a surprise as well, she thought. Her little bard had reddish blond hair that went past her shoulders. This warrior had hair-bleached blonde by the sun, skin lightly tanned, and now the hair was short for easier fighting.

Xena’s bard was astounding with a staff because the young woman couldn’t face possibly killing someone. The gladiator in front of her had scars up and down her arms and legs from numerous encounters in the Arena and Xena didn’t think the bard would hesitate to kill, if necessary.

Xena stepped forward, intentionally making noise and wasn’t surprised when the bard spun into a half crouch with the sais at ready, one poised for throwing and the other in a defensive stance. Gabrielle blinked and then stood up as Xena stepped out of the shadows. She smiled at her mate but Xena wasn’t sure the smile continued to the woman’s eyes.

When the Roman, Brutus had reunited the soul-mates Xena thought she couldn’t be happier in her life. Two days had gone past and she found Gabrielle withdrawing into herself more and more and refusing to talk about what had happened during the year and months of her disappearance.

Brutus had told them that after her capture by the Romans, Gabrielle had been sold into slavery to a gladiator school and had become a fighter. After he stumbled across her he had purchased her when he could but not before Caesar had taken an interest in the little fighter and had her fighting in Rome.

To everyone’s surprise she had won her freedom as a gladiator by winning the coveted wooden sword of freedom. Brutus had managed to get Gabrielle and her former trainer, friend and fellow Amazon out of Italia and into Germania before Caesar could figure out who Gabrielle was.

Caesar had been very anxious to find the little bard, Xena knew. He wanted to use Gabrielle as bait. Somehow the military and political leader sensed that the bard was important in Xena’s life and intended to use that to his advantage. Brutus had foiled that plan by freeing Gabrielle and taking her to Xena.

Brutus had told Xena and Hercules of the numerous rapes, beatings and training Gabrielle had been through, he also said Gabrielle had offered him her body if he would get her out of Italia and back to Xena.

Xena figured it was time for both of them to talk about what they had been through that year and months.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dancer spun, kicking up in the air as she slashed out with the sais, landing lightly in a crouch and spinning out with her leg and then ending upright with the sais in defensive position. She straightened up slowly, satisfied with the session, she was breathing a little heavily and had a good layer of sweat worked up and her muscles sang.

In a flash she was in a crouch again, sais at the ready for throwing and for defense. Her sharp eyes spotted Xena coming out from the trees and she slowly stood up and lowered the sais into her special boot-laces and secured them. She smiled as the warrior approached and noticed the concerned look in her mate’s eyes.

Dancer shifted mentally and Gabrielle sighed. She ran a hand through her short blonde hair. How the Hades to explain this weirdness to her soul-mate, she wondered and grinned at Xena who grinned back, looking grateful to see the familiar smile on Gabrielle’s face.

“Can we talk, my love?” Xena asked softly.

Gabrielle closed her eyes and sighed. “It’s time, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Xena asked cautiously.

“There’s some kind of wall between us and I know it’s me.” Gabrielle shrugged and bent down to retrieve her cloak. Xena moved forward and helped pull it around the smaller woman and pulled Gabrielle to her, looking down into the bard’s green eyes.

“Whatever it is, it’s not going to last long. I love you.”

“I love you, Xena. So much.” The warrior saw tears welling up in Gabrielle’s eyes but the bard fought them back.

“Come on, let’s go to the barn before you get cold from that workout.”

“All right.”

The barn was a small one room building that held their five horses, hay and not much more. Gabrielle had been curious about the cabin and barn, the place wasn’t a farm, she could tell that. Hercules had explained that it had once been a hunter’s cabin when game was plentiful in the region, before the Romans. They had taken it over when Brutus sent word that he had news of Gabrielle’s location. The Greeks had made their home with a northern Germanic tribe further north.

Gabrielle sat down on a hay bale, suddenly getting a sense of Deja vu - how long ago had it been when the little bard sat down on a hay bale in her parent’s barn, just discovering that Xena loved her as much as she loved the warrior? It seemed a life time.

She looked up and saw the same thoughts going through her mate’s mind. She smiled a weary smile and pointed to the other hay bale.

“Where do I start?” Gabrielle complained, pulling one of her sais and playing with it. It reminded Xena of how she herself would use sharpening her sword as a distraction or a focus.

“The beginning?” Xena suggested.

“You know I was taken by Romans and sold to slavers...”

“No, all of it, little one. Until you talk about you can’t heal from it.”

“Why?!” the bard suddenly demanded, jumping to her feet and pacing, twirling the sais in her hand. “Do you want me to tell you about every man I’ve killed? Do you want me to describe every blow?!” she snapped.

“If you need to.” Xena said simply, keeping her voice neutral.

“Arrrrggghhh!” Xena wasn’t surprised when one of the sais ended up in a barn post followed by the other one. Xena was surprised with the speed of the bard turned warrior.

Gabrielle turned and faced her lover, breathing heavy, looking angry and tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“Why, damnit!? Why do you need to hear it?”

“I don’t. I’ve got a pretty good idea of what happened to you. You need to get it out.”

“Why, I thought you forgave anything I’ve done?!” Gabrielle demanded.

“I have, you haven’t forgiven yourself.” Xena answered.

Gabrielle blinked and the anger left her face in a wave. Xena quickly caught her bard as the woman fell forward, her knees buckling. She collapsed into Xena’s arms, the sobs finally beginning.

Xena pulled them to the hay and held her lover close, rocking and talking to her until the tears had slowed enough for Gabrielle to talk.

Xena reached out and pulled Gabrielle’s cloak off of her and covered them with it as the bard settled in between Xena’s legs and into her strong forearms.

“Iolaus tried to fight them so I could get away but they shot my horse out from under me and I couldn’t run. I thought they killed him. He wasn’t moving and they said they were going to throw him in the river,” she whispered.

“They did. We didn’t find him until the next day,” Xena answered.

“How did he live?” Gabrielle asked in wonderment.

“He had to save you. I swear the Greeks will never be totally conquered, we’re too damn stubborn.”

Gabrielle smiled at that one. Then she frowned. “He wakes up calling my name.”

“Yes,” Xena said simply.

Xena felt the bard’s body begin trembling and she tightened her embrace.

“They hurt me. They hit me and ....” Gabrielle hesitated.

“Go on,” Xena urged.

“I can’t.” Gabrielle whispered.

“Let it out, little one,” the warrior urged. “They raped you. They beat you and took turns raping you over and over again.” Xena felt her own tears falling and could feel Gabrielle beginning to cry again. Xena hoped that was a good sign.

“Yes,” the bard whispered. “Iolaus did see it.”

“Yes,” Xena answered.

“I’m glad I didn’t know. I don’t think I could have lived with that as well,” she muttered.

“He lived so we could find you eventually. He wouldn’t quit,” Xena reminded her.

“They sold me to slavers the next day. They beat me, drugged me and .... raped me.” Gabrielle whispered, clinging to her warrior’s forearm, tears falling on the tanned skin.

“It’s all right, little one. You weren’t at fault!”

“Not for that, no,” she agreed and Xena frowned, there was something the bard was feeling guilty over, she thought to herself. “Go on.”

“I was sold to a gladiator school in Italia in the city of Aqualeia. That’s where I met Nikki, Nikkita. She was a trainer at the school and knew who I was and warned me to keep quiet about my name and background. Nikki talked the owner, Lycrassis, into a bet so she could train me to be a fighter rather than a kitchen slave.” Gabrielle continued.

“Why a fighter and not a cook?” Xena asked.

“Because kitchen slaves serve as sex slaves to the men and she didn’t want that for the Queen of the Amazons. She figured I might have a chance in the Arena and none in the kitchen. I found out that she’s an Amazon from the Northern tribes. She became my trainer and protector.”

Xena felt Gabrielle’s body tense up and felt the bard’s hesitation.

“And?” she urged.

“To keep Lycrassis and his men off of me, she said that she wanted me as bedmate and he agreed. We had to convince him we were lovers,” Gabrielle whispered.

Xena felt her jaw muscles clench and knew the answer to the next question already.

“Were you?” she forced herself to ask.

“Yes,” again Gabrielle’s body began to shake as she began weeping again. Xena tightened her hold on the bard as Gabrielle attempted to flee Xena’s arms. She kept her hold tight until Gabrielle quit fighting and turned into her warrior’s body, crying. Xena felt her own tears running down her face.

“Do you love her?” Xena asked.

“No!” Gabrielle cried out and managed to escape her lover’s arms with the quickness of her trained body now. She pulled the cloak around her and began pacing again, looking very small. “And she knew that!” she yelled. “It was to save my neck! Everything that happened, every danger everyone went through was to save my neck! That bastard would stand outside the window and watch!” With a sudden side kick a board in a stall was in pieces. Xena watched her bard carefully, wiping away her own tears.

“I used her, Xena. I took her friendship, her love for me, her desire for me and I used her body as a shield, just to protect myself!” Gabrielle went to her knees in front of her warrior. “I thought my path was to protect others, not use them to protect me!”

Xena gathered the small woman back in her arms as fresh tears wracked the bard’s body.

“First rule in life is survival, Gabrielle. You know that. We can’t protect others if we’re dead.” Xena tried to reassure her little bard.

“I know, I couldn’t think of anything except getting back to you.”

“Does she love you?” Xena asked.

“Yes, I think so. She knows I don’t love her but it went further than just play acting.” Gabrielle clung to her warrior, almost flinching, as if waiting for a physical blow.

“How so? You turned to her for comfort? How is that wrong?”

“How is it wrong?” the bard repeated angrily. “Did you have a lover while I was gone?” she demanded, sitting up in Xena’s lap.

“No, but I was safe and with people who loved me and could support me in other ways. Besides, I was busy having a baby. I wasn’t feeling too sexual there at the end.” Xena grinned and was pleased when Gabrielle shook her head, trying not to smile but unable to help herself. Gabrielle smiled, picturing Xena pregnant in the last stages and crawled back into the warrior’s arms.

“How did Brutus find you?” Xena asked.

“My first kill,” Gabrielle whispered. “I was only two months in training when Lycrassis decided to test me. When I got into the arena I saw Brutus in the guest box. He recognized me, I still had my hair and hadn’t put on my helmet yet. Fortunately, he didn’t say a word.”

“Two months, how long did Brutus know where you were?” Xena growled.

“Easy, lover. He was on his way to Britannia and couldn’t do anything for us until he got back. I..... I won the match.” Again the bard was on her feet and pacing.

“I killed this irritating little Arab eunuch!” Gabrielle kicked another board into pieces. “I became exactly what I swore I wouldn’t! I kill easily, Xena. Without thinking about it, like a machine or a trained animal.”

“Yes, like a trained animal.” Xena agreed, standing up. Gabrielle looked at her puzzled, not expecting Xena to agree with the description. The little warrior stopped pacing.

“You were like a trained animal, Gabrielle. You’re not a callous killer, you were surviving, there’s a difference. What happened after your matches? How did you feel?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you feel like you were on fire? Like you could take on anyone and anything? Like you either had to kill someone or bed them quickly?” Xena asked, approaching her mate, keeping eye contact.

“No,” the bard whispered. “I usually threw up and wanted a bath.”

Xena smiled reassuringly. “That’s the difference, Gabrielle, you’ll never be a true killer. Like me.” Xena lost her smile but not the sadness in her eyes.

“Like you? That’s how you felt?” Gabrielle asked, eyes widening. Xena sighed, they had never talked about this before.

“Yes,” Xena admitted.

“Wait a minute, watching you fight turns me on, is that the same?”

“No, watching you move, dancing or fighting, turns me on too. Fighting also turns me on and the killing used to do it for me.”

“No remorse?” Gabrielle frowned.

“Not at first, I was too wrapped up in revenge and hatred. My beloved brother was dead and I had been raped. Then later I realized that hatred was an empty feeling and I used fear to fill that. It can bring such a rush to have people absolutely terrified of you. That power thing,” Xena shrugged, sitting back down in the hay, not looking at Gabrielle. The bard followed and sat down in front of the warrior. “Then later I realized that fear was empty too and there was nothing inside of me. The hatred had burned up everything inside.” Xena wiped away a tear. “I began to be sickened by what I had become and everything around me. I didn’t have soldiers, I had bandits, rapists, murderers, all of them scum and they were using me and my skills to destroy anything in their way. When I got in their way, they tried to destroy me.”

“You chose to leave that, Xena. You weren’t dead inside,” Gabrielle said gently.

“That’s my bard, trying to reassure me when we were talking about you.”

Gabrielle grinned and threw a handful of hay at her mate. “Where were we?”

“Brutus found you but left,” Xena reminded her.

“Right, fortunately he had made a wager with Lycrassis that he wanted me very badly and made Lycrassis agree not to sell me or Nikki for a year until he returned.”

“Wasn’t Lycrassis suspicious of a friendship between a high ranking Roman general and a barely trained gladiator slave?”

“No, Brutus forced me into his bed that night.”

Xena growled and Gabrielle grinned and held out her hand. “Easy, lover. He didn’t hurt me. Well, he did hit me but I insisted. He bruised me, tied me up and made it look like he had forced me and had been brutal about it. Lycrassis believed him.”

“It took a year to get back from Britain.”

“Over a year to settle things there. Then Lycrassis wouldn’t sell us. He was making money on me and I think planning to take me to Rome himself soon. Brutus was forced to reveal my name and told Lycrassis that Caesar wanted me but to keep quiet until you fell into the trap.”

“Clever, Brutus, very clever.”

Gabrielle nodded. “Do you know how much he was risking for me? Because he loves me he is willing to risk his future, his fortune, his life!” Gabrielle was shouting again and began pacing.

“You’ll get your exercise just jumping up and down all morning,” Xena complained and Gabrielle glared at her.

“Nikki sleeps with me to protect me, Brutus risks everything and I don’t even sleep with him! What would you have done, Xena?” Gabrielle turned to her lover.

“What do you mean?”

“What if Caesar had gotten me? Would you have left Sasha and risked a trap to try and save me or would you have let me go to raise Sasha safely?”

Xena blinked and frowned. It was a question she had been asking herself for months, ever since Gabrielle had disappeared and they had word that Caesar was looking for her. What would she do?

“I don’t know, I know I can’t live without you, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle’s anger faded quickly.

“I know that now.” Xena looked puzzled. “I tried to kill myself once.”

Xena went pale and grabbed her bard by the arms, looking deep in Gabrielle’s eyes.

“No,” she whispered.

Gabrielle nodded. “I was tired and couldn’t imagine making it a year or three years in the Arena. No one wins their freedom in the Arena.”

“You did.”

Gabrielle smiled a sad smile. “And many people died to get me there. I couldn’t have even dreamed of winning the wooden sword of the gladiators. I couldn’t even dream of living to see you anymore. You had Sasha and I knew you could go on without me.”

“I couldn’t!” Xena protested.

“I didn’t know that for certain!” Gabrielle snapped. “Everyone around me was in danger because of who I am! You, Hercules, Iolaus, Brutus, Nikki, Sasha - everyone! I was killing people just to survive, just by my living people were in danger and I was using people I loved.” Gabrielle’s head dropped and she sank to her knees. “I couldn’t do it any more, Xena.”

Xena walked up behind her lover and placed her hands on the small woman’s shoulders.

“I understand.” she said simply. “What happened?”

“Hah! I decided that I would go down in the Arena, easy way out, right? Oh no, not this idiot!” she laughed and Xena wasn’t sure she was seeing the humor in this. “I get a fighter that couldn’t fight off a fly. He was worse than Joxer!” Xena wasn’t sure anyone was worse than Joxer but let that one go. “I would have to drop my weapons, place my head on the chopping block and guide his ax before he could beat me,” the warrior bard complained.

“What did you do?” Xena asked with a smile, beginning to see the absurd humor in the situation.

Gabrielle lost her smile. “I cut his hamstring and crippled him permanently. It got him out of the Arena alive. Part of it was my anger though, I was mad at him for being so lousy a fighter. I then turned my sword, blade at my heart and I fell forward.”

Gabrielle felt the warrior’s hands tighten on her shoulders in response and the warrior’s body jerk. Xena had seen that type of death before.

“What?” she demanded, pulling Gabrielle to her feet and facing the warrior. “How?”

“Apollo.” Gabrielle said with a shrug.

“Apollo, as in your patron god?” Xena asked.

“No, Apollo as in my father; the god of the Sun, Apollo.” Gabrielle grinned. “He stopped me and gave me a reason to live.”

“What was that?”

Gabrielle looked up, tears filling her eyes once more. “He showed me you with Sasha and that Iolaus was alive. He told me that you couldn’t live without me.”

“I can’t.” Xena agreed.

Gabrielle hesitated, reluctant to continue. Xena’s eyes narrowed.

“What else did he say or show you?”

“That if I died that you would follow and Sasha would become Ares’ and take over your dark destiny.” Gabrielle turned away from her lover, afraid of how her mate would take this type of news.

Xena answered with a long sentence of curses. She finally came up behind the warrior bard and wrapped her arms around the small woman. “What did you tell him?”

“I asked him why the gods couldn’t find someone else to mess with besides you and me and now Sasha.” Gabrielle grinned.

Xena, knowing Gabrielle’s sharp tongue could picture that scene easily.

“I love you,” Xena whispered, nuzzling the bard’s neck.

“He then said the fate of the world depended on me getting back to you.” Gabrielle whispered as she bared her neck for Xena’s lips and teeth.

“What did you say?” Xena asked, trailing her tongue from the bard’s earlobe to her collarbone.

“Wha...? I told him I was getting tired of the saving the world stuff.”

Xena grinned and nodded in agreement as Gabrielle’s hand reached behind and laced through her dark hair, pulling the warrior’s head back to the bard’s neck. Xena was happy to change her focus from saving the world to worshipping at her lover’s neck right then. Gabrielle hadn’t been ready to be touched since they had found each other again. Xena knew it was because of the guilt the bard had been feeling. Now she was hoping they were past that. The bard seemed past it, she thought.

Gabrielle moaned as the warrior’s hands slid down the bard’s tight stomach and started caressing her thighs, trailing her thumbs on the inside of the little warrior’s thighs, pulling Gabrielle back into the warrior as Xena captured her neck with her lips and teeth.

“Oh Gods, it’s been so long! Just your touch....”

“Shhh, little one.” Xena whispered and bit down on Gabrielle’s earlobe.

The warrior’s hands began caressing Gabrielle through her trousers and the bard’s body began trembling and jerking.

“I can’t stand up!” she whispered.

“Too bad,” Xena growled and slipped a hand down the bard’s trousers while the other hand moved under Gabrielle’s tunic and grasped one of the woman’s breasts. Gabrielle began whimpering and felt her knees buckle but was held up by the warrior’s hand sliding in-between her folds and claiming her body once more. Xena wrapped her arm around the bard’s ribs.

“I remember when you bit me after becoming a bacchae,” Xena whispered in her lover’s ear, causing Gabrielle to moan and then whimper as the warrior’s fingers entered her, impaling her and holding her up at the same time. The sensation of trying to stand and let her body take over was driving the bard crazy and heightening the sensations.

“I never felt anything like that,” Xena continued, kissing the bard’s neck. “when you bit me it felt more intense than any shaman journey I went on with Alti, more sexual than anything I had ever felt. I wanted you so badly right in that moment. I never wanted your fangs to leave me. I wanted your hand inside of me and I wanted to taste your blood and your sex.”

Gabrielle was almost crying as her body trembled uncontrollably. Xena increased the speed and strength of her thrusts and bit down on the bard’s neck, hard. Gabrielle screamed Xena’s name and the warrior let them fall backwards into the hay, maintaining her hold on and in the bard on top of her until Gabrielle’s body quit jerking and spasming with wave after wave of orgasm. Xena carefully removed her hand and let the bard slide off of her and then took the bard into her arms, as the tears began to flow again.

Xena rocked her lover as Gabrielle wept, all the pent up emotions of over a year finally getting released.

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