Darkness Awakening
Awakening 12
Ms. Hunter Ash
frost29@post.com
Disclaimers
Ownership: I don’t own Xena, Gabrielle, Argo, etc etc etc. I’m borrowing them for my pleasure and, hopefully, the pleasure of others for entertainment.
Subtext/Alt Fiction/Sex: You bet. This story concerns people having sex with the same gender. Also some light bondage and graphic sex. Violence: It is Xena and Gabrielle we’re working with here.
Storyline: Xena and Gabrielle are struggling to settle down and deal with Solan’s injuries and darkness from their own past.
This is part of the Awakening Series. I hope that it can stand on it’s own as an individual story but you might want to catch some of the rest of the stories before this to have some background.
Feedback: always welcome and will be responded to.
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“Solan?” Xena spoke softly, not wanting to startle the young man lying on the cot in her Mother’s backroom.
“Mom? Mom!”
Xena was across the floor and holding the young teen in an instant. She held the young man while he cried.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked, wiping the tears from his face.
Xena thought her heart was going to break, her son was lying there with a bandage over his shattered eyes and he was asking about her.
“I’m fine, so is Gabrielle and Sasha,” she choked out.
“Really?” he insisted.
“Really. We got Sasha back and Brutus is dead. I was there when he died,” Xena explained simply.
Her son merely nodded at the information. It was on orders of the Roman General that Sasha had been kidnapped and Solan was blinded for trying to protect his sister and his mom.
“Is Sasha okay?” he asked about his younger half sister.
“You bet. Gabrielle went in and took her right out of the Roman camp while Brutus was busy fighting Antony and me,” Xena knew he couldn’t see her grin but she hoped he could hear it.
“Great! The healer says the pain should be gone in a couple of weeks.”
“Good, good,” Xena suddenly didn’t know what to say or do. How to handle your son being blinded protecting you? A born hunter and tracker, now blinded. “Listen, I want to go see Joxer, I’ll be back in a little while, okay?”
“Sure, Grandma has me putting in a half day helping in the kitchen but she lets me rest during the afternoons, the headache gets bad by then,” Solan said easily, laying back down.
Xena squeezed his hand and left the room quickly. She bit back a sob as she dashed across the tavern and out the door.
Cyrene, her mother, watched her daughter rush out the door and turned to Gabrielle. The bard was holding Sasha and looking after her mate. Neither of them were surprised by the warrior’s reaction.
“Some tree is really going to pay for Solan’s injuries,” Gabrielle muttered.
“Mum?” Sasha asked.
“Yes, little one?” Gabrielle asked the small child in her arms.
“Is Mom okay?”
“She will be. Your brother was hurt, remember me telling you about that?” the youngster nodded. “Well, your mom is really upset because he was hurt bad. We’re going to have to help him a lot now and teach him how to do things a little different.”
“How come?” Sasha asked.
“His eyes were hurt and he can’t see anymore,” Cyrene noticed the tears filling the bard’s eyes as she tried to explain a crippling injury to a small child.
“Oh,” the child said simply, eyes wide; trying to comprehend what Gabby Mum was telling her.
Gabrielle empathized, she didn’t understand it herself.
“Can you keep an eye on her, Cyrene? I want to see Joxer.”
“Of course, she can help me fix dinner. Come on, little one,” Cyrene took Sasha’s hand and headed for the back.
Gabrielle climbed the stairs towards the rooms of the inn.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Joxer grinned and tried to pull himself up but Gabrielle quickly crossed the room and sat next to the soldier, placing a hand on his chest, stopping him.
“Gabrielle, good to see you! Cyrene told me that you and Xena went after Sasha. Everything okay?”
“Yes, Brutus and Cassius are dead and we got Sasha back,” Gabrielle smiled.
“You’re beautiful,” he muttered.
“Thanks, you’re probably looking good if you didn’t have several holes in your body,” Gabrielle grinned and Joxer blushed. “Thank you for protecting Solan and Sasha.”
“It was nothing,” he muttered.
“It was more than nothing, Joxer,” Gabrielle insisted and reached out to hold his hand.
The soldier began blushing again.
“Xena told me about your wedding, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I bet you were beautiful.”
“Thank you. Joxer, we didn’t want to hurt you,” Gabrielle said softly.
“I know,” Joxer shrugged. “Gabrielle, are you happy with Xena? Is this what you want?”
“I know the last few years have been rough and Xena and I have been to Tartarus and back, but the answer is ‘yes,’ I’m very happy with Xena,” Gabrielle moved closer to the soldier, noticing the tears welling up in his eyes. “Joxer, I love you and I always will but not like with Xena.”
“I’ve been trying to understand, I mean, she slept with Ares!” Joxer growled, struggling to a sitting position.
Gabrielle moved his pillows behind him to help him sit up better and easier.
“I know. I’ve forgiven Xena for that because she didn’t know what she was doing. Living with it wasn’t as easy as it sounds, I’ll admit that. I don’t doubt that she loves me, Joxer. Even with her memories missing she couldn’t hurt me and she came back to me.”
Joxer was quiet for a few moments.
“Sasha is cute,” he conceded.
Gabrielle grinned. “I’m glad she looks more like her mom than her father,” the bard confessed and Joxer smiled.
“Xena told me about the gladiator stuff,” the soldier said softly.
Gabrielle sighed and drew off her leather bracers and held up her wrists. Joxer turned pale at the sight of the scars.
“Caesar’s dead, Brutus is dead, the Amazons and Centaurs are dead. So much loss, Joxer,” Gabrielle’s eyes filled with tears and tiredness. Both were surprised when Gabrielle laid down next to the soldier and curled into his arms, surprised by the action and by the fact it didn’t feel awkward.
Joxer frowned as he felt something shift in his heart and soul and held the small woman as she cried for all the loss and her exhaustion. He fell asleep puzzling over the change, he couldn’t work it out. Something happened it felt different.
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“Gabrielle,” a soft voice caused the bard to open her eyes, the bard blinking several times as she tried to focus. As she raised up on her elbow she realized the shadows in the room had lengthened a bit and that she had fallen asleep.
Asleep. Joxer. What? With a startled expression she sat up on the edge of the bed, looking up in the blue eyes of her warrior.
“Easy, don’t startle him,” Xena said with a smile in a soft voice.
“What? We were talking,” Gabrielle muttered.
“You both fell asleep while he held you,” Xena concluded for her confused bard.
“Xena,” Gabrielle began but Xena held up a finger on the bard’s lips.
“No big deal,” the warrior reassured her. “I know how you feel about Joxer.”
“We were talking about the crucifixion and the Amazons,” Gabrielle whispered.
“Help me wake him up for dinner. The healer says that he’ll be all right eventually but it’ll take time. Lucky for him, he’s got a hard head and that was the worst blow,” Xena grinned.
Gabrielle also grinned. “Good thing he upgraded that armor of his.”
“Yup, and improved on his skills. Come on, Joxer, time for dinner,” Xena grinned and lightly shook the soldier’s shoulder, bringing his head up from where it had fallen on his chest while holding Gabrielle.
He began blushing when he realized Xena was in the room with him and Gabrielle.
“Time for dinner, hero,” Xena grinned, going to the table and retrieving the tray she had brought up.
“I, uh, hi, Xena,” he muttered.
“Eat your dinner,” Xena grinned and led her bard out the door for a much needed hug. Gabrielle took in the rough condition of her warrior. Xena was covered with dust and had been working out, hard. The bard frowned; her warrior’s eyes were still haunted.
“Mom offered us a room for the night, complete with a bath. She knew we’d be too tired to go home,” Xena said, leaning into Gabrielle’s hand as the bard stroked her cheek.
“Great, we can face all of this in the morning. Let’s get you in a tub, my love.”
Later that evening Gabrielle held an emotionally worn out warrior in her arms, gently exploring Xena’s body with soft touches of her tongue and fingers. Tonight was one of those nights when they both surprised each other with how gentle they could be in their lovemaking.
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“Hey, Mom,” Solan said with a wide grin when the warrior walked into the kitchen the next morning.
The warrior was stunned speechless and Gabrielle ran right into Xena’s back when the warrior suddenly stopped.
“How did you know it was me?” she asked, moving further into the kitchen, standing back to watch her son.
“I heard the chakram against your leathers,” Solan answered as he began chopping carrots, using the side of his finger to guide the knife.
“You must have inherited my hearing,” Xena grinned.
The boy grinned.
“He’s got a talent for cooking, would you believe it?” Cyrene said as she walked into the kitchen with an armful of a basket of fish.
“THAT he didn’t inherit from you,” Gabrielle muttered and got a playful whack on the arm from her warrior and a grin from both Cyrene and Solan.
“We’ve only been gone a few days,” Xena commented, watching the teen move around the kitchen with an ease that was reassuring to the warrior.
“He catches on quick,” Cyrene commented as she began chopping the fish up and handing the pieces to Solan who quickly seasoned them and prepared the pieces.
“I can’t be a hunter any more so Grandma, Joxer and I talked a lot about different jobs and how easy or difficult they could be for a blind man. I kept coming back to cooking. I like it,” Solan explained with a shrug, once again reminding Gabrielle of her warrior and his mother, Xena.
“He’s already improved one of my recipes,” Cyrene bragged.
“No way!” Xena’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.
Solan blushed and grinned.
“Yup, a natural,” Cyrene confirmed.
“Now we get Joxer healed and maybe we can get back to settling down,” Xena muttered.
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A week later, Gabrielle grinned at the progress that both Solan and Joxer were making in their individual recoveries. Solan’s headaches had diminished enough to where he could work a full day in the inn’s kitchen and not require any pain herbs in his tea at night.
Gabrielle had thought of teaching him to find his way around with a staff and soon he had memorized the route between their home and the inn and several buildings around the village. Everyone in village were more than eager to help the boy out, giving him space to work it out and quick to give information about what was where.
Joxer had recovered enough to start working out with the militia, slowly regaining his strength and skills. Xena was pleased to find he had improved on his skills over the couple of years she hadn’t seen him and was now an adequate soldier. She also grinned at how he blushed under her praise and encouragement.
Xena had also noticed something about Joxer and had a suspicion that he had noticed it about himself and was confused as she was. Joxer no longer had that puppy dog look around Gabrielle. Xena had frowned when Joxer had shown up in the village, especially because Gabrielle had been away and Xena was the one that had to break the news to Joxer that his beloved bard had married someone else while he was gone. The news that Gabrielle had married Xena.
Xena stood next to the training area and watched as he lightly sparred with sword and shield against one of the villager militia volunteers and reflected that the would-be warrior had taken the news well. He had shouted, cried, gotten drunk, threw up when he heard about Gabrielle’s assaults by the Romans and slavers, dry heaved his guts up at the description of her crucifixion and then passed out when his mind couldn’t process anymore.
Now Joxer seemed more at ease than he ever had with Gabrielle and Xena. Both Gabrielle and Xena were at a loss to explain it, they had even caught Joxer looking confused when he was with them.
It was like he had turned into Gabrielle’s brother or best friend.
Xena decided that it was definitely a weird change but maybe not unwelcome.
The warrior grinned when she spotted Gabrielle and Sasha walking towards her, the bard carrying a basket and holding Sasha’s hand. Both were chattering back and forth rapidly, probably sharing a story, Xena thought with her heart overflowing.
Given the circumstances of Sasha’s conception, Xena had worried slightly that Gabrielle might hold some resentment. The bard had forgiven Xena for sleeping with Ares, pointing out that Xena wasn’t exactly in her right mind and had no memory of her life with Gabrielle, but still, it was a fear the warrior had. Especially since Gabrielle hadn’t been with her for Sasha’s birth and first few months of life.
Xena needn’t have worried; the bard’s anger was still at Ares. Even after confronting him, fighting him to a draw, wounding him badly, and basically getting in his face, Gabrielle still growled deep in her chest whenever his name was mentioned and her green eyes flashed with anger. With Sasha, Gabrielle was a wonder and both Solan and Sasha were both delighted that Gabrielle was in their lives.
Xena was beyond delighted; she had no idea what she would do without her warrior bard. Watching Gabrielle walk across the common made Xena’s breath quicken. The bard was dressed as any other village woman these days, it was the way she moved that caught the eye of most everyone, men and women. She still moved like a dangerous wild cat.
Xena grinned to herself, what always amazed her was that Gabrielle wasn’t aware of it. She really didn’t realize how cute and irresistible she was.
The night they spent waiting to enter the Arena of Rome and fight for their lives, the night before Gabrielle had been crucified by the Romans, they had spent the time talking. Gabrielle had surprised the warrior by thanking her for the life they had led together. Xena had shaken her head in amazement. How could Gabrielle thank her for leading her into constant danger, slavery, assault and death? The bard had tried to explain that before she had met Xena she had felt invisible and that no one but Xena saw what she could be, no one but Xena had given her that chance.
Once again the bard had amazed Xena. If it hadn’t been for Gabrielle, Xena knew that she never would have managed to stay on the path towards the right side of things.
The warrior had tried to tell Gabrielle that, how the bard was her light, her source. Many people thought Xena was the stronger one but the warrior knew they were wrong. She had given into the darkness for ten years, darkness that had consumed everything about her. Gabrielle had faced darkness and hadn’t given in, even when fighting for her life in the Arena as a gladiator and she never let Xena fall too far either.
Gabrielle smiled as she looked up and spotted Xena watching her, her face blushing at the adoring look on her lover’s face, feeling heat spread throughout her body. They had been lovers for awhile and married, and still, just one look from the warrior could cause her body to tremble with desire.
Sasha grinned and rushed into her mom’s arms. Xena grinned back and picked up the child and placed her on the fence to watch the militia practice, including Joxer.
Gabrielle walked up and placed an arm around her warrior’s waist while Xena placed an arm comfortably around her shoulders.
“Joxer’s doing well,” Gabrielle commented after watching for a few minutes.
“Yes, he’s recovering nicely,” Xena agreed. “What’s in the basket?”
“Lunch, Sasha and I thought we’d surprise our hard working warrior with a picnic. Your mom says things are slow enough that she and Solan can handle the lunch crowd.”
“I love you,” Xena answered, placing a kiss on the top of Gabrielle’s head.
“I love you, Xena,” Gabrielle answered back, leaning her head into Xena’s chest.
“Let’s go. Come on, Sasha, let’s find a nice tree by the creek for your surprise picnic,” Xena smiled, helping the child down from the fence.
Gabrielle sat with her back against a tree with Xena’s head in her lap while they watched Sasha splashing in the water at the edge of the creek, both watching closely.
Sasha knew how to swim but both women were also protective moms. Xena looked down at the bards hand that was interlaced with hers, looking at their bonding bracelets and the scars on both their wrists. Scars from Gabrielle being crucified and Xena’s from fighting against chains on that day, watching her mate being tortured.
Gabrielle looked down and took in Xena’s glance and frown. She squeezed her hand with Xena’s and smiled as the warrior’s blue eyes met hers.
“I love you,” Gabrielle said simply.
“I’ve been thinking,” Xena hesitated and Gabrielle’s eyebrows furrowed in question. “I’d like to travel north for a visit,” the warrior said softly.
“To visit Axel and the clan?”
“Yes, and to the Northern Amazons.”
Gabrielle was stunned.
“Xena, when Ephiny suggested we go to the Northern Amazons for protection from Ares and Caesar you said that you couldn’t go because of what you did to them in the past.”
“I know, but you’re the one that keeps reminding me that I’ve been different for a long time now and that others will accept that. I know that the Amazons are important to you and I want you to reconnect with them, even if it is a different tribe.”
“Xena, if there’s a chance that they wouldn’t accept you, then I can live without that,” Gabrielle said softly, stroking her warrior’s jaw-line tenderly.
“I know that before our Amazons were killed that you wanted to present Sasha as your adopted daughter and for her to be accepted into the tribe. I know that was important to you, to both of us.”
Gabrielle felt tears coming to her eyes as Xena opened hers and looked into the bard’s green eyes.
“It’s not necessary, Xena. I feel like she’s my daughter, I don’t need a ceremony to feel that way,” Gabrielle said softly.
“I know and I love you for it, but as your daughter it is part of her heritage and her right. I know you want to help keep the Amazon soul alive and maybe it’s time I make some amends up north,” Xena looked away from her bard, watching Sasha chasing a frog across the watergrass next to the creek.
“Xena, do you need to talk about it?”
The warrior sat up and pulled herself next to the bard, still keeping her eyes on her daughter.
“I’ve told you a little bit about Alti,” Xena began and Gabrielle nodded. “She came to me as a shaman and offered me power, more power than I had ever seen. I was ruthless and power was like a drug to me, I couldn’t get enough of it. She promised to make me the Destroyer of Nations,” a tear escaped the blue eyes and Gabrielle resisted reaching over to wipe it away, giving her warrior space. “Gods, you think you’ve seen darkness with Ares, it was nothing compared to Alti. Ares is power and madness but it’s power, that’s all. With Alti it’s evil, she wanted the power to destroy someone’s very soul, not just their bodies. I think she sensed my inherited powers from Hecate, my natural gift for shamanism and wanted to tap that power.”
“Ares wants your natural fighting ability, Alti wants your natural shamanism, and Callisto just wants your blood,” Gabrielle complained.
“And you, little one?” Xena suddenly teased.
“Your body, your soul, your heart, and your love,” Gabrielle answered back, intertwining her fingers with Xena’s and bringing the warrior’s hand up to her lips.
“You’ve got all of them,” Xena answered.
“Alti,” Gabrielle prompted.
“You know what happened, Alti threatened to show you when we crossed over.”
“Yes, when you claimed your goddess gifts from Hecate and we found that Apollo had gifted me as well. She said that you had killed the Northern Amazons and had been brutal about it.”
“That’s an understatement, most of them were impaled on sharpened tree branches. I used their own reliance on the trees to trap them. I sharpened tree branches and had spike traps all through the trees. Some were impaled, others fell. I killed the leaders for her,” Xena closed her eyes, her body beginning to tremble with the memories.
“Xena,” Gabrielle didn’t know what to say or how to comfort her mate. “Do you need to face them?” she finally asked.
“I know you’ve forgiven me and I’ve mostly forgiven myself. That spiritual journey we took and when we fought Alti, that took a lot of it away for me, but not all of it. I don’t think I’ll ever finish paying for those years.” Xena looked down at her hands, almost expecting them to be covered in blood.
“Xena, you can’t go on killing yourself with guilt for the rest of our lives!” Gabrielle urged, watching her warrior and also keeping an eye on the small child nearby. “Look at the last few years! All the good you’ve done throughout the land. Look at the kids. Solan is becoming a fine young man, some of the local girls are beginning to hang around your mother’s inn, you know.”
Xena’s eyebrows went up at that piece of news. Solan? Girls? Well, he was very handsome, gentle, intelligent and going to be a good man. When did he grow up, the warrior suddenly asked herself. Hades, he’s almost old enough to think of shaving - what fourteen, fifteen summers?
Xena shook her head in wonderment and looked over at Sasha. The small child was already four Spring seasons old. She was a bright and cheerful child who made everyone she came in contact with smile.
“I know you’re right but I never made any kind of retribution to the Northern ones,” Xena said simply.
“Then we’ll go and present Sasha as an Amazon Princess and you will be accepted as well,” Gabrielle said firmly.
“They may want revenge,” Xena ventured slowly.
“You are the Consort and Champion of an Amazon Queen, they won’t have a choice. We will however, try to make amends and find a way to make peace with you and them,” Gabrielle said.
“Might not be easy, little one.”
Gabrielle laughed, “When is anything easy with us, lover?” she grinned as she stood up and trotted over to where Sasha was picking wildflowers and grabbed the child in her arms and began tickling the little girl.
Xena smiled at the hug fest that ensued between two of the most important people in her life.
She definitely didn’t deserve the bard, she thought.
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That night over dinner at her mother’s inn, Xena talked with Joxer.
“Sure, I’ve had some blacksmith training, not much but enough to help Dex out while you’re gone. You are coming back, right?” he asked quickly.
“Yes, our home is here now. I’m going to ask Solan if he wants to come or not, he’s definitely of an age to make up his own mind about things,” Xena grinned. Everyone was pleased at the rapid recovery the boy had made and how well he had adjusted to losing his eyesight. Cyrene took such an immense pride in his accomplishments in the kitchen that she took every opportunity to praise him and tease Xena about her lack of cooking skills. A constant joke between Gabrielle and the warrior was made of it.
Gabrielle came out from behind the bar and approached the two warriors with a pitcher to refill their mugs. Joxer smiled and Gabrielle grinned back. For her warrior, Xena was met with a look that could melt ice.
Gods, would they ever get enough of each other, she demanded of herself and then decided probably not, and she hoped not.
“You looked good today, Joxer,” Gabrielle commented and smiled as Joxer blushed, looking much like his old self.
“Uh, thanks. Xena was telling me about your trip. I’m going to help Dex out at the blacksmith shop while you guys are gone,” Joxer grinned, pleased to be helpful.
“Great! Listen, I’m getting ready to tell some stories, I’ll meet you at home.”
“Okay,” Xena leaned up for a quick kiss from her bard and blushed as Joxer grinned at her.
“Xena,” Joxer frowned and ducked his eyes. Xena waited for him to continue, curious. “I’ve watched Gabrielle with you since you two have been back and I just want to say..... that is.... I, uh, thanks,” he stammered.
“For what, Joxer?”
“Making her happy,” his face turned very red.
“My pleasure,” Xena grinned and laughed as he blushed even more and looked at her with that old goofy grin of his.
“I still love her but....., it’s not like it was. It doesn’t feel like an ache that will never end.”
“I’m glad you stuck around to rediscover your friendship with her,” Xena said simply.
“Both of you, I hope.”
“Yes, both of us. I just wasn’t sure if you were mad at me for marrying her,” Xena smiled.
“Nah, not anymore. Laying in that bed with blood everywhere kinda put some things in perspective, I guess. I love her and if I love her then I can’t be mad at her being happy,” Joxer tried to explain.
“I actually followed that.”
“You’ll keep her safe on the trip?” he demanded suddenly.
“Or she’ll keep me safe. That’s something I’m still getting used to, Joxer,” the warrior admitted. “she’s more than a good warrior. She was always astounding with that staff of hers, with those sais, she’s amazing.”
“We’ve all grown a little, I guess,” Joxer commented.
“Yeah,” Xena agreed, watching Gabrielle approach the raised platform at the end of the room and everyone quieted down. Gabrielle’s reputation was known throughout Greece and several other countries and Amphipolis counted itself fortunate that such a talented bard had settled in their town. Xena also knew that Potedaia inhabitants would probably never forgive the warrior for luring their own bard away from her home village. Not that they paid attention to her when she was there, Xena thought.
Both warriors settled in for an evening of Gabrielle’s bardic talent.
“You know something funny, though?” Joxer commented, watching Gabrielle.
“What’s that, Joxer?”
“The hair makes her look a little older but there’s no gray in yours or hers. My mom starting complaining about gray hair at 28,” he muttered and then went quiet as Gabrielle began her tale.
